The Apathetic Runner: Are you stuck running in the ‘meh’ zone too long?

Runner apathy? I read an article about apathy as it applied to ‘normal’ life and as per usual there is a running parallel. It’s reportedly becoming more common that people are stuck in a sort of happiness limbo; they aren’t necessarily depressed but not happy either.
blue runner
Now, I’m the first person to say, Suck it up. Seriously, people are inventing diseases and disorders at this point!” So don’t get me wrong, the fact that this article was trying to tell me that apathy should be some new kind of quasi-psychiatric problem just above depression at first made me roll my eyes.

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Fix Your Form, Drop Your Shoulder: The ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ runners should clean-up their form (ie: get faster)

“Drop your flipping shoulders!” is pretty much what I had to yell to myself as I was running for years. Add to that list, “Stand up tall,” “Right elbow, tuck in that right elbow, idiot!” Oh the beautiful language of a runner’s inner-monolague when trying to fix their form.

finish line face man running

Technically running with a relaxed face would be more efficient, but the homestretch go ahead and let your face look wonky!

Form is a tricky issue to deal with, mostly because however a runner naturally takes to the action is, well, natural. It’s without thought and it FEELS normal to them, no matter how wonky or biomechanically wrong it ends up being.

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Runners Eat REAL Carbs: Don’t let me catch you ordering a burrito bowl

When a runner walks into Chipotle they da**-straight don’t order a burrito bowl!

burrito bowl
If a runner comes back from a long run and sits down at a burger joint, they aren’t going to be ordering up something that comes wrapped in lettuce…give them a carb-tastic bun for crying out loud!
burger for runners
A pizza is not served atop cucumbers, zucchini’s, mushrooms, or any other crust-wanna-be. As runners we are entitled to every kind of warm, doughy, delicious carb-loaded pizza crust in existence. The exception may be those crazies who prefer the thin crust…but you better get some doughy breadsticks too…sorry, I’m all about the soft stuff. 😉
pizza for runners
Runners work for it, so don’t deprive us.
More cartoonage HERE!

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Warning: Runners in mirror are stronger than they appear

Don’t mess with me, I’m a runner. Looks may be a bit deceiving, I’ve had people call me ‘hummingbird arms’ or ‘wishbone’ but I can pack a punch. Runners come in all shapes and sizes, a few of us (okay, probably more than a few) could be dubbed scrawny…but don’t ever confuse that with weak.
strong runner
I do my weights, core work like a good little harrier, am no stranger to the plyometrics. I’ll admit that it sometimes feels like I have to choke that stuff down because I’d rather gobble up more miles BUT I know all these ‘extras’ will make me a stronger runner. If you want to be fast, (or at least less slow…hehe) you’ve got to have a core that can keep you standing tall when you’re tired. You can’t have feeble little arms swirling around like a ribbon-dancer if you want to be efficient either.

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The GI Issue Cursed Runner: Tackling those great, poopy disasters

This runner has had burritos on the brain. That being said, tucking into a 5lb burrito bomb and taking off on a 5 mile tempo isn’t such a hot idea. Actually, going for any run after that may be iffy…
burrito pooping beans
I’m more than open in sharing my runner stories of GI distress, gut woes, and tales from the poopy trails. HERE is a previous post and with lots of tips to tackling your own GI issues. Though I happened upon an interesting interview with Dr. Barry Schlansky, specializing in gastroenterology and hepatology, over at FloTrack.

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Runner’s Strip: Runner’s Math

Let me school you in a bit of my runner logic…
runner math
If math isn’t your forte, we’ll just blame it on an oxygen deprived brain. I mean, c’mon, all of that precious O2 is going to our muscles where it’s needed FAR more. So if our math isn’t quite adding up, we’ll just blame it on runner logic and oxygen debt.

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The Complimented Runner: Why numbers will always trump words

What’s the ultimate compliment for a runner?
Good form.
Stellar kick.
Awesome smile atop that podium.

I guess that works too! ;)

I guess that works too! 😉

A little old lady remarked to me as I set off on my run this morning, “You look cold.”
“I’ll warm up fast,”
I replied.
“You look cute though!” she then yelled at my back.
I thought to myself, “Okay, well, thanks, I guess?? But really, wouldn’t any runner rather hear: ‘You look fast’?”

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Runner’s Strip: Dog Park

I’ve passed plenty of dogs while out running and whenever I see one of the HUGE ones, the kind that probably weigh more than a few runnerchicks I know, I can’t help but imagine riding that furry beast like a horse. Let’s be honest, the temptation is particularly strong late-tempo run and you’re already entertaining thoughts of chucking yourself off of a cliff because it would probably be less painful. 😉
running with dogs
We don’t ride dogs, of course, because that would be cheating. But it’s always fun to dream, right??

1) Are you a dog person? Do you run with your dogs?
I could end up getting some hate mail, but when I’m out running I get a little annoyed with the OWNERS who don’t know how to control their dogs. I’m sorry, I love dogs, but I don’t want one chasing me, frothing at the mouth. I also don’t like almost tripping over leashes when owner-pet is hogging entire pathway. That said, I’m currently looking to get a pup so I’m a dog person in ‘normal life’. 😛

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A Runner’s Selective Amnesia: Push out memories of the crappy runs to keep room for the epic ones

Runners need to live in a constant state of selective amnesia. Namely, we need to push from our minds the runs that feel like we are dragging lead bricks behind us or the times when our legs decide to pretend they’ve never run a decent split on the track ever before.

keep running

We keep running EVEN through those crummy runs.

We push from our minds the miles that are more painful than they should be and let the recollections of these dark workouts and dismal races slip into the darkest of chasms within our grey matter. We do this so that we have the fortitude to lace up and go out for that next run. Selective amnesia, you see, is quite a prolific coping mechanism for a runner.

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Hey, Lance, you just got chicked!

Running is hard. “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” It’s hard for everyone and competing is even harder. So, I have absolutely no respect for cheaters. There, I said it, I stand by that.
lance armstrong getting passed
Now that Lance Armstrong wants to go around running and cycling clean, I dare say there are plenty of awesome runnerchicks out there ready to chick him! 😉

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