Gettin Your Fight Club On – We Play by My Rules Though

Happy Friday!! I hope you all are ready to kick off a fun weekend. Things around here have felt a little too ‘seriousy’ for me, so we obviously need to inject some kind of immaturity.

I’m also sitting on the verge of a minor/not-so-minor Hulk style flip out. Why? My computer and this slow butt internet has been working my last nerve!!!!! That whole Office Space scene of them just kicking the shiznit out of that piece of equipment, I wish I could do just that.

I know logically pounding on it won’t do a lick of good but the amount of instant satisfaction is almost just too tempting to pass up. I’ve never actually been in a real smack-down style fight with anyone…

rocky dog fighter

Pic I made for my family...they've got a Boston Terrier named Rocco

…I think the closest I’ve ever really come to honestly physically trying to overpower someone was in a struggle over a chair with my brother. Sibling moments at their finest, but this was one time we did cross that line between ‘haha, I want that chair’ and ‘I don’t care who the heck you are, or the fact that it’s over something idiotic, I’m going to try to kick your butt’ territory. I was 18, my brother 16; he outweighed me by probably a good 60-70 pounds and had a foot on me. You probably know how it ended, he got the chair, but I tell you he got it a lot harder than he thought he would. Oh, and in my mind I totally creamed him. 😉

On the subject, I’ve always harbored secret fantasies of being all street tough and like I really could win in any kind of fight…heck, I can barely come out on top of most verbal ones. That, and being that I love me my Fight Club, (okay, back when Brad Pitt wasn’t tainted by Jolie, he was hot!) I’ll start my own little knock-off. I’ll share a few rules:

  • We can talk about this fight club, but only if I win. That’s right, just like any other sore sport I can’t have you bringing up my failures. If I’m not in the fight, then you can brag all you want.
  • Races seem to feel okay about charging an arm and a leg to enter, then I’ll follow suit. You want to fight? I wear a size 8.5 Nike Structure Triax, I also want me some Franz Blueberry English Muffins.
  • We don’t have weight divisions, but we instead rely on the PO scale: levels of pissed-offness. It’s all about the size of the fight in the dog, in this case it’s about the amount of pure rage adrenaline this sucker’s running off of.
  • We don’t use weapons. If there is an object in your hand then it better be the item that your rage is directed towards…example: computer.
worthog farting

Farting would be an accpetable way around the 'no weapon' rule though...

**Disclaimer: To state the obvious, the above is all a fictitious rambling and in no way represents anything I stand for or believe in. In reality I’d probably get the snot knocked out of me by mini-me, I’d drop to the floor faster than a hot potato…I vividly remember that Holyfield vs. Tyson, I’m not willing to lose part of my ear or any other bodily extensions. Finally, failures do make us better and hungrier for the next round, so I’m not saying losing sometimes isn’t a bad thing (heck, there are some egos out there who deserve a swift loss).

1) What was the last inanimate object that was the bane of your current existence and focal point of your utter rage?

2) Have you ever been in a ‘real’ fight?

3) Do you have a rule you’d like to add to our fictitious knock-off Fight Club?

4) Any fun weekend plans?

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8 thoughts on “Gettin Your Fight Club On – We Play by My Rules Though

  1. CAIT! I don’t know what is going on, but I don’t receive updates on your blog in my Google reader. I added your new website address and NOTHING. I thought you fell off the face of the earth again. I just came to your site and saw that there’s like 3 million posts I have missed! I’m going to try re-adding it now and see if it works.

    I have never been in a real fight but I’m going to start one with Google if this shiznit keeps going on!

    • wat the heck?? have u ever had this happen to any other blogs that have moved over is it just me? am i just on the wrong side of google and feeling their wrath??

  2. I’m in the same boat at Christina! I tried adding your feed but it never updates! I have to type it in every time I want to come visit!

    Anyone…I could get in a pretty rough fight with Blogger right now, for sure. People keep emailing me saying they can’t leave comments on my blog, such a bummer! In real life–um, yeah, not a chance I could/would fight anyone. I am so afraid of confrontation. I’ve had people yell at me (for no reason) and I APOLOGIZED. I could probably do with the growing of some you-know-what’s, actually!

    • oh my gosh, i do the same thing with the auto-apology, and then i think back, “umm, why is it ME the one who just apologized to the lady who bumped into me?”

      okay, i am NOT happy about this whole google reader thing, is there something that i should look into to try and change because i don’t want to keep losing people and fine friends. 🙁

  3. so i have never been in a real fight but i like to pretend that me and Riley are in fights all the time. yeah…random i know but at least it brings some excitement into our lives…haha!!! hope you are doing well friend!!!

    • having fantasy fights i think is the best, and safest, way to go. plus, that way we can always come out the winner…or top dog. 😉

  4. Oh definitely my computer (whom I have named Ralph – no idea why actually) when he shut me out of Skype during a conversation with my boy. Yeah, being separated by 10000km and a faulty internet connection did not help my PO scale. So I’m at your back when you decide to kick some PC/MAC butt!
    I’ve never been in a physical fight, but like you I have had my fair share of fantasy fights, especially after walking out of a boxing class, feeling that endorphin rush. Then you realise you can’t even unscrew the top of a jar and all the mightiness just completely gets deflated by reality 🙂
    Rule for Fight Club: Cake is necessary after each match! Oh and chocolate too. Heck, I offer to bring the refreshments 🙂
    My weekend – run, bake, talk to boy, write. Same old, same old and I love it.

    • maybe we can throw our computers at each other and demolish them both at the same time! okay, u win for the best next rule for fight club!!! u are def nominated to bring the refreshments, i’ve seen ur fine work. 😉

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