Running is different from most other sports, namely it’s better. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think I deserve to have an equipment manager around here attending to my needs like the football and basketball players get. What about MY needs?
Dear My Running Equipment Manager,
I bestow upon you the great honor of lining up my running shoes each and every night, laces loose enough so that all I have to do upon waking is slip my feet in. It’s brutal enough waking up earlier than most, I shouldn’t be expected to function until I’ve gotten at least a 1/2 mile into my run. The task of tying my shoes is implied, I’ll be too busy trying to strap my Garmin on my wrist. (I’ll let you off the hook on that one.)
I really LOVE my Garmin, like love him, but those satellites get iffy every so often and for tempo runs and intervals I have to go with actual markers. You can old school wheel-off the mile markers for all my tempo runs. I’ll direct you to a fun hill and have you mark off 200 and 400 meter markers for when I do hill repeats. Gotta build the power and speed…wait, is it fair to demand THAT much from the single fast twitch muscle fiber I have in my body?
I’ll get back from my run nice and sweat, it’s imperative for my recovery that I eat straight away…like the second my feet stop moving I expect you to wield me the refuel of carbs and protein. I REALLY like doughy carby goodness, so don’t you try and pass off those stale bagels that’s not what I keep you around for. And duh, we’re talking whole grains and wheat variety, none of that white crap. #healthyrunnereats
Actually food is a constant theme of the runner life. So you’re also a glorified short order chef; be close by because you never know when the runner black hole stomach gremlin may rear its ugly head.
Speaking of ugly heads, injuries are bound to spring up. No they kind of sneak attack and they are going to leave me uglier than that thing that crawled up out of The Ring. Your job will be to make sure I don’t wind up getting myself into too much trouble, if the judge isn’t a runner he may not sympathize with a not guilty plea if my excuse is that my state of mind was impaired and the outlash was because of miles withdrawals.
I LOVE me my running clothes. Especially THESE shirts and my tempo shorts. Do the laundry and don’t go losing all my left socks either.
Runners may not have the crazy fans that the soccer (sorry, futbol/football) fans get in Brazil, even though we deserve it lots more. You can also function as my entourage; I’d like feeling like I’m more important than I am every now and again.
I really am happy to have you around My Running Equipment Manager. You can do all the things I’d rather not have to think about. I’d rather just run. Oh wait, I forgot, just a couple other small tasks: massage me, freeze my ice cups, track the miles on my shoes, buy me new shoes, fold my running shirts, inform me of running news and results, foam roll for me, stretch for me, lay out my free weights, keep away leashless dogs, move absent-minded pedestrians from my path, pace me for my 400′s, call out my mile splits, pay my race entry fees, make sure I get VIP status to port-a-potties, pace me for 800′s, update my running log nightly and read bedtime stories to my treadmill.
What an AWESOME job you’ve got! XOXO Arty Runnerchick
1) What would you employ your running equipment manager for?
2) What are some things you do to make it easier/faster for you to get up and get out for you run?
Lay my running clothes and shoes out the night before.
3) What is your go-to post-run refuel?
English muffin and tuna…talk about eating on a budget! #dirtcheap