The Woes of a Being in a Relationship With a Runner

I’m sure it can be a little tough for spouses waking up to a cold left side of the bed…”Sorry Honey, out running.” Being in a relationship with a runner may mean pleading out of weekend plans because they’ve got their long runs, races, workouts, and whatnot. All night ravers and barhopping don’t exactly work well into the training program.
runner spouse pains
Air-drying our running shirts and tights across the banister, cupboards full of protein bars and Gu’s…the oft empty refrigerator. “Sorry Honey, I got hungry!!” That’s runger for you.

Certainly the friends and loved ones of a runner may suffer, they may not ‘get it’, they may not harbor ANY desire to worship the all-mighty mile, rock a Garmin tan so burned into your skin it lasts through winter, or not bat an eye about wearing ‘short’ running shorts in public. “Seriously, they’re not even that short.”

The thing is though, TRUE friends and TRUE loved ones may not always ‘get’ our running quirks habits but they will support us regardless. Some have argued that running is a ‘selfish sport’ and in some ways it may appear to be. But I will always argue that any selfishness is absolved so long as:

1) Every running KNOWS how lucky they are for any support they get.
2) Always thank those awesome people waiting at the starting line or watching your kiddies (or doggies, or plants, or comic book collection) so you can go for a run.
3) Running makes you a happier, more productive, better you.

Any runner who does that, not only DESERVES their running ‘me’ time but shouldn’t feel any ounce of guilt. Even if they’re dodging out of the marriage bed in the wee early morning hours and their spouse is left to spoon with a pillow. You’re not cheating…you’re a runner. ;)

1) What are some ways that you are lucky, what pillars of support do you have in your life?
2) How do you thank your awesome family or friends who think you’re crazy for this running thing but support you anyways?
3) How does YOU running make you a better person and how does that benefit your supporters?
Umm…if I didn’t run no one would want to be around me…fact. ;)

Related posts:

14 thoughts on “The Woes of a Being in a Relationship With a Runner

  1. My husband is also a runner so he understands (and encourages) my running! I think we do a good job of supporting each other and we definitely understand the ups & downs of training and racing.

  2. My husband is also a runner, but we’re completely different runners, so a lot of this still applies. When it’s warm outside, I’m out at the crack of dawn to get my long run in on the weekend. But he likes to sleep in, go about his business all day, and then head out for his long run in the evening or whenever he feels like going. A lot of times it’s like we’re both filling the roles of running and non-running spouse, because we like to run at different times of the day.

    Aside from my husband, one of my biggest supporters is my dad. He likes to come to as many races as he can, and will often make a game plan to bike around the race course so that I get to see him several times throughout the race. During my first marathon, he actually just stayed with me from mile 15 or so all the way to the finish. It was a small race, so it was easy for him to do so :)

  3. haha.. My wife is a night owl and I am a morning person. So we have learned to use those times for our “me” time. During the day we try to do things together. I am very appreciative of my families support and try to include things for them to do on my race days.

    • hahaha!! i’m so happy your family is totally all for your crazy running addiction…hehe. umm, think that everyone can enjoy the post-run food fest, no?! ;)

  4. My husband has been left spooning a pillow many a morning! He’s a runner too, but prefers a slightly different (and less OCD) schedule; but he knows that running is important to me as a person, and essential to me for being a GOOD person. So sometimes, he’ll even push me out of bed (gently) when I’m delaying getting up.

    On the flip side, though, I do set aside some times/mornings when I don’t race out of bed and out the door – because maintaining my marriage and spending time with my husband is also an endeavor that deserves my best efforts!

    • 1) i LOVE that he and you both get that running makes the other person happier so you’ll offer those kind nudges when they need it
      2) BUT you know what’s most important in life and maintaining the relationship sometimes mean, even running, will have to compromise sometimes. :)

  5. Pingback: Runner Feet Be Keeping it Classy |

  6. You’re all very lucky. I unfortunately am not as positive as you all, instead, I wish we could just have a normal relationship/life. I’d like to stay up on weekends, sleep in, and not have every outdoor activity turn into an opportunity for training. I’m tired of the dietary restrictions, we can’t even have wine on many nights because of the “dehydration properties.” And not to mention how physically exhausted the partner can get, forget about sex, “my legs hurt!”

    I’m very happy for the rest of you, I guess I need to find my own hobby and it should all work out.

    • soooo, i gather you’re NOT a runner!! :P that said, i can see how you might not be happy and respect that everyone should be able to do and live as they want. so my question to you is: if the sacrifices are worth it? i think couples should compromise sometimes, but to a degree you can’t change a person…and we all deserve to do things that make us happy. SOOO, i definitely think you should find some hobbies and activities that make YOU happy!! and from there hopefully the two of you can work things out. :)

    • Parker, I feel the same way you do and feel like there is no one I can talk to that will understand these challenges. My husband is a runner and as much as i support him there are plenty of times that are hard on our relationship. If you would like to chat or vent let me know.

      - SG

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>