Confessions of a Flat-chested Runner

I’m a Flatsy-Pasty, rocking a pair of AA’s (probably AAA’s even!), I have two mosquito bites…flat as a pancake. That last one though shouldn’t even be considered something negative, hello how can pancakes be bad?!?! No, I’m flat chested. But you know what, that’s fine by me.

Weird as it sounds, but I never really ‘got’ the whole wanting big boobs thing. I think it’s because around the time most of my peers were coveting celeb bodies, I was looking at distance running stars. Mary Decker-Slaney, Paula Radcliffe, Kara Goucher, Shalane Flanagan…those Ethiopians and Kenyans aren’t known for their robust busts! I was ogling over times not breasts. Records, titles, medals. To me they had the ‘perfect’ bodies.

My mom’s just as flat as I am. She got a mammogram once and the nurse called her on the phone thinking the pictures she was looking at were those of a man. No joke, I only feel okay blogging this story because my mom’s got a great sense of humor and laughs at this story all the time. That’s okay, because my mom’s gorgeous and when you see her she bears NO resemblance to a dude. (See for yourself, pic with her and my bro.) Ya, I may be partial in say this, but I think she is. 🙂

Being athletic, I would HATE having huge knockers jiggling up and down while I’m running. Strapping on two, three sports bras does not sound appealing. I get annoyed when my hair flies in my face, I couldn’t handle a double set of distractions.

There are tiny girls who are embarrassed about being flat-chested. I can see how wanting a little bit more on your chest than a AA would look nice in everyday attire, going out, dressing up, looking cute and filling out an outfit. Then there is the whole insecurity thing about looking attractive for guys. Need I bring up the whole Bachelorette roast thing? But in my opinion, Ashley looks adorable.

Skinny Runner did a post on some of the hottest celeb bodies. Inevitably the topic of implants comes up, and the rumors about Audrina. Now, I do find Audrina really pretty…would I want her body? Everything maybe but the boobs…she has some awesome abs, but the boobs would get in my way. That takes us back to the whole athletic thing. (On a side-note, while boobs have never been my ‘thing’, that bodypart we all kind of focus on, my abs/stomach area is my ‘thing.’ Flatsy-Tummy would be cool!)

In the women’s sports scene I think it’s a lot easier to disregard insecurities about your chest because it’s more the norm. If I had grown up wanting to be a supermodel or actress I’m sure things would have been different. Christina, The Athletarian, did another post about how she wanted to be strong, not just skinny, but with a body that had power and could DO things. Achieve feats of strength, speed, stamina, endurance.

So I’m okay with wearing only a single sports bra. Maybe my own mammogram will resemble that of a dude, but that’s only in black and white and I like to think that if anyone actually were to see me there would be no problem in identifying me as a female! Plus, if my future hubby were to have bigger boobs that me, well, I think that would reflect more poorly on him. Scratch that, I don’t think I’d be dating a guy with manboobs in the first place. But I digress…

On another site I write for I’ve got an ongoing cartoon series: Gym Offenders Exposed. I thought this one is fitting to today’s post, the girl at the gym in full on dolled up make-up and hair. Perhaps she’s had some implants and is more interested in getting her flirt on that working out. We’ve all seen her in the gym. If she wants to use the gym as a single’s mingles venue go ahead, but me, I’d rather bust my @$$ on the treadmill.

Speaking of, today I’m feeling so-so about my workout. 10 miles and change total with warm-up/cool-down, and did the middle 5 as a breakdown style harder effort. I upped the speed 0.1 every half mile…I’ve been feeling just flat/blah the last week so I was able to run it faster than my last two hard workouts but not nearly as well as I’ve done in the weeks past. But I’m hoping it’s just that the work’s catching up to me (It had been a long while since I started pushing myself more and doing harder workouts) so I’m hoping it’s just that I’m a little more fatigued and will start feeling better soon. Training cycles and all that jazz, so we’ll see. Also did some upper body weights. And on with Monday! 🙂 Hope all of you guys are starting your week off well!

1) Are you a flatsy too? Would you like a little more up top?

2) Who are some of the people you think have killer bodies?

3) Best flat chested joke?

4) What’s on tap for your Monday?

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21 thoughts on “Confessions of a Flat-chested Runner

  1. First off… your mom is GORGEOUS!!!!!!! Holy shit, you so take after her! And I have ALWAYS been the brunt of flat-chested jokes in my family. In elementary and high school I was known as 2×4. I actually have a small B, but to go along with that, I have child-bearing hips like Kim Kardashian, but without the boobs (and looks). Pretty annoying. I would keep the same up top, but wouldn't mind shaving off some around the hip!!
    I love the strong bods in hollywood. Ali Larter, Cameron Diaz, Blake Lively, Jessica Biel (a little less arms, though), Julianne Hough, and of course… you.

  2. KATY!!! your comments freaking ALWAYS make my day…u're so sweet! 🙂 thanks all around! trust me, YOU are insanely gorgeous and psshhh, kim k aint got nothing on u! ummm, i think she'd prolly break down in tears just strapping into that TRX!! u my friend have an amazing bod and best not change a thing! well, unless it's getting that knee of yours in check, cuz u need to head down to the states for our run/food fest!
    oh i luv blake, cameron, and especially julianne too! (ps- why she is wasting her time with ryan seacrest is beyond me!)

  3. This is so funny! And hits home in the opposite way! I have some serious boobs for a runner and I really hated it! How was I supposed to be any good when I was dragging these things along with me haha. I'm ok with it now, but I still don't get why people get fake boobs.
    "Flatsy" hah.

  4. awww, margs u're too funny!! strap those puppies down tight and it's obviously getting the job done since u're ROCKING the running! but for people who choose to get implants and then to go way overboard (don't make me bring holly m into this) it blows my mind. keep rocking ur fab self and remember that suzy favor-hamilton didn't let her bigger bust slow her down! 😉

  5. I have boobs, but I'm neutral about the topic. I used to worry about my body too much to a very unhealthy point, but now I figure I should just accept myself. People have different body types, some with naturally more muscle, some who stay skinny no matter how much they eat, etc. If I try too hard to be someone I'm not, I won't be happy. Been there, done that, bought a t-shirt. Well, instead of a t-shirt, I ended up with injuries and other health problems, but I digress… The point is that we come in different shapes and sizes, and there are positives about everything. If you're happy, healthy and train well, your body will adapt to its best shape. I'm not the tiniest girl out there anymore, but I know I'm one of the strongest. And I have big boobs 😉

  6. I'm totally with you. I've NEVER wanted a big chest and I think for the exact reason you stated above. I've done sports my whole life and I always thought "if I had a big chest it would just get in my way" – I'm totally happy being a member of the "flatsy patsy" club (haha – LOVE that name by the way). The bodies in Hollywood I envy are more of the Keri Russells and Jennifer Anistons than people like Audrina (though I agree with you – if she didn't have those boobs I think she'd have a killer figure)

  7. texasgirl!! u couldn't have said it any better…and some of ur superhero is showing. 🙂 u not only rock those boobs but u do so while kicking butt at the races. i don't want u to think i was putting down busty gals at all! the only ones i would make fun of though are the ones who go the way-over-the-top implant route (ie:elliptical queen…hehe). like i said, i think u put it beautifully!! i've been through my share of body-hate and while i've gotten a LOT better, i hope one day i'll fully be as sane and rational about it all as you are. 🙂

    and cait numero dos!! hehe…thanks for stopping by and welcome to the club! should we start getting shirts made? maybe screened across the chest: "not missing what's missing" ?? lol

  8. Yeah seriously can we have a Flatsy Patsy club?! I am SO on board with that!! 😉

    And small boobs mean we have less to weigh us down and don't have to worry about bouncing-ness!! I LIKE it! I used to feel self-concious about it but you're right that us athletes tend to be Flatsy Patsys, so it's much more normal!

    Oh, and your momma IS GORGEOUS and looks scarily like you haha!!

  9. I want to be in the flatsy patsy club too! Thankfully I have a little "something" up top (and I do meant little…rocking those A cups) but I'm fine with it. Can't imagine having them get in my way when I'm running. Plus…hello? Padded bras! Haha, I will admit I have one or two for special occasions!

  10. emma…thanks so much for trying your reply again! sorry about blogger being so lame! haha..thanks for the compliments to my mamma and i'll be sure to pass them along. 🙂 and of course u know i'm stoked to have u in the club. 😉

    vanessa, the same big welcome goes out to you! oh, and ur ode to padded bras is one that my mom sings loud and proud. 😉

  11. Ahhhh thanks for the shout out!!! You are amazing and I don't know how I am just reading this now. I actually read it earlier but the computer at work won't let me comment! By the way, it's CHRISTINA, not CHRISTIANA (though that's a pretty name too!). I'll let it slide just this once 😉

    I'm not that busty but I don't mind it. I'm not that big of a person so my tiny ta-tas fit well with my bod. I am obsessed with so many people's bodies, I don't even know where to start. Funny thing is, they're all different types of bodies! Cameron Diaz, Jessica Alba, Jen Aniston, and Jessica Biel are probably my Hollywood faves. I love your BFF Kara Goucher's running body…she looks so strong. And Jamie Eason has the hottest fitness model body for SURE!

  12. HOLY FLIPPING FAUX PAS!!!! christina i'm soooo sorry for the typo!! i don't know how in the world i could have let that one slip? honestly, christiana, how dense am i?!?! sorry once again and please know that i DO in fact know your name!! i made sure to fix my heinous mistake.

    oh and i agree jen aniston has an awesome bod!! and i'm sure u know where i stand on all distance runners. 😉

  13. The fact that you just said "holy flipping faux pas" made me forget everything! You're the best. Now move to Toronto. Please and Thanks.

  14. thank u for the pardon…i promise it won't happen again or i'll have to go and kick my own butt!! that said, i'm leaving now for Toronto. running shoes on, expect me to show up as i can. u won't know when or where but i'll find u…u've been warned. 🙂 but there's a pretty good chance i'll be hitting up some vegan fro-yo so u might spy me there.

  15. I've always had a big chest, 34DD, I've gotten down to a D one time when I was really sick and lost a lot of weight really quick but the girls just came right back. I used to hunch a lot because I was self conscious of them but now I just strap them up and put them out. I don't notice them very much when I'm running, except when I see pictures and I'm like…ouch, how do I not feel that?

  16. julie, you certainly carry those sisters well and looking at ur pix u don't look that large. but glad u're standing up straight now because u are both beautiful and an awesome runner so rock that confidence girl!!

  17. Just saw this post as I was reading the current one! I have always been flat. I told my breasts in 5th grade not to grow and by golly they listened. Now after breastfeeding two kids they are flatter than ever. But I am so thankful they are done bouncing around like they did when they were full of milk. I own many padded bras, but I own just as many unpaddeds!

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  19. Hey Cait, you just wrote a fascinating entry on loving those pancake pairs. I really think that we should be proud of what we have even if it’s small or big coz it really isn’t all that matters. I read an article from about flat-chested problems which may be true and applicable to many yet real beauty is how confident you are about yourself. I guess rather than struggling, find ways to keep yourself motivated (find what you love). You may opt to enhance anything in your body just as long as you feel that it will complete you just consider consequences though.

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