Runners can be weird, quirky, obsessive, at times overly-dramatic (worst run of my LIFE!), hilarious, and flat-out gross. Hey, it’s the nature of the beast and just comes with the territory…then again some of those jokes seem to really only be THAT side-splitting mid-workout and obviously proof of an oxygen-deprived brain.
So yea, runners harbor some weird thoughts, do some questionable things, maybe even some acts we’re not all that proud of. (caught, bush-diving?) The thing is, harboring all of that ‘guilt’ isn’t healthy, and for the most part if you were to air your secrets, even sins by way of running, out to some fellow runners they either have done the same things or would at least see the line of reasoning that led you to such a predicament.
Enter the Run-fessional.
“I hate dogs when I’m in ‘runner’ mode. I see them as I approach and I cringe. I feel horrible because in ‘real life’ I’m a total dog person.”
Have you ever lied to get into a faster heat?
“I once took a deuce in the playground of a grammar school. It was a weekend, it was an emergency.”
Did you once steal your competitor’s spikes?
“I snuck out of my house at 3am to go for a run. I was supposed to be on a break.”
Are you guilty because you once didn’t tell your training partner they made it through the second half of the long run with that snot-rocket stuck to the side of their cheek? Then you went out to coffee afterwards and you STILL didn’t tell them?
I want to hear it all! Don’t worry, we’ll keep this all anonymous, the actual quotes up here are from three of the first few brave souls who wanted to take part. If you’ve got something you’d like to get off your chest, share a little neurotic habit, or even if you’re too shy to actually brag but need a spot to shout out how hard-core you are, send me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Pull out the skeletons amongst the running shoes buried in your closet and spill it…you know you want to.
1) What are some of the funniest ‘inside jokes’ that have come out of workouts and runs with friends?
One of my favorite quotes came: “I’m touching cloth!”
2) Things told to you in confidence between training partners, is that vaulted sort of similar to secrets between spouses, best friends?