The Run-Fessional: Air your quirks, embarrassments, and running related sins…no judgement

Runners can be weird, quirky, obsessive, at times overly-dramatic (worst run of my LIFE!), hilarious, and flat-out gross. Hey, it’s the nature of the beast and just comes with the territory…then again some of those jokes seem to really only be THAT side-splitting mid-workout and obviously proof of an oxygen-deprived brain.
neurotic runner
So yea, runners harbor some weird thoughts, do some questionable things, maybe even some acts we’re not all that proud of. (caught, bush-diving?) The thing is, harboring all of that ‘guilt’ isn’t healthy, and for the most part if you were to air your secrets, even sins by way of running, out to some fellow runners they either have done the same things or would at least see the line of reasoning that led you to such a predicament.

Enter the Run-fessional.

“I hate dogs when I’m in ‘runner’ mode. I see them as I approach and I cringe. I feel horrible because in ‘real life’ I’m a total dog person.”

Have you ever lied to get into a faster heat?

“I once took a deuce in the playground of a grammar school. It was a weekend, it was an emergency.”

Did you once steal your competitor’s spikes?

“I snuck out of my house at 3am to go for a run. I was supposed to be on a break.”

Are you guilty because you once didn’t tell your training partner they made it through the second half of the long run with that snot-rocket stuck to the side of their cheek? Then you went out to coffee afterwards and you STILL didn’t tell them? ;)
runner closet
I want to hear it all! Don’t worry, we’ll keep this all anonymous, the actual quotes up here are from three of the first few brave souls who wanted to take part. If you’ve got something you’d like to get off your chest, share a little neurotic habit, or even if you’re too shy to actually brag but need a spot to shout out how hard-core you are, send me an email: captaincait@hotmail.com

Pull out the skeletons amongst the running shoes buried in your closet and spill it…you know you want to. :)

1) What are some of the funniest ‘inside jokes’ that have come out of workouts and runs with friends?
One of my favorite quotes came: “I’m touching cloth!”

2) Things told to you in confidence between training partners, is that vaulted sort of similar to secrets between spouses, best friends?

best running shirts

18 Comments

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18 Responses to The Run-Fessional: Air your quirks, embarrassments, and running related sins…no judgement

  1. Basically anything to do with relieving ourselves in public is always awkward. Both men and women have their unique issues in this regard! Oh, I my own confession is getting hemroides and training through it! I have never been more consistently uncomfortable in my life.

  2. Kim

    Well, I can’t imagine I’m the only middle-age female runner with this problem – sometimes I pee a little , especially during speed work (or 2000 jumps on my mini tramp) – I just pass it off as sweat!!!

  3. Amy

    I have had a “can’t hold it another second” moment on a run and had an “accident”. I made it to a bathroom, freshened up, cut the liner out of my shorts, and kept going.

  4. Oh how funny :-) I’m looking forward to hearing what comes out of this! My worst story is cutting in line for bathrooms pre-race…so many people were waiting and I was desperate! I felt terrible though because it was super crowded and rather disorganised and getting to the start on time was tough even with the queue cutting (so people I cut in front of would have found it even tougher).

  5. Oh my gosh! This is too funny and I can’t wait to read other responses.

    I got nothon’ for you now, but maybe one day.

  6. Oh my gosh! Best topic ever. I love that it’s a runner space, so nothing is sacred. And yes, some of the things people tell you/do while training are not for general public knowledge!

    My confession: I’m an angry runner. A guy on a bike had his lanes wrong one day and got a bit testy with me. I went ballistic and pointed and swore and told him to get in his own damn lane.

    …and I’d rather pass wind than stop running – once or twice I’ve tried to pass it off as the guy next to me.

    Cannot believe I just admitted to that.

  7. Sam

    I CONFESS that I do not wash my running clothes often enough and have been known to rifle through my washing looking for the least offensive clothes among the nauseating fermenting for a week ones… eek!

  8. While coaching groups of newbie runners, I spend a lot of time chatting and telling stories, to keep them distracted. One morning, I was out running with them, and turned to look behind/beside me – and I failed to see the STOP sign right in front of me. I ran straight into the pole. With an audience. Fabulous!! “Hey folks, running is safe and awesome – as long as you watch where you’re going!!”

    Also, there was that time a busted my ankle during a trail race. I knew right away that this wasn’t a little harmless twist, and words I didn’t even know that I KNEW came out of my mouth….

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