Qualifications:
* Know the difference between an easy run, a tempo run, interval workout, and fartleck. Also know what strides, chaffage, and Body Glide are.
* Must enjoy going to the arcade and bowling alley with me. A bonus would be if you were really good at winning me lots of tickets because I’m a sucker for all the cheapo prizes and get unusually excited about them.
* Be really fashion savvy because I’m one hot mess.
* Don’t question my quirks. There will be many, you can laugh but just go along with them.
* Have a private jet because I really want to visit my CA family more.
Job duties:
* Wake up before me and head down to the gym. Reserve the good treadmill that has the best view of the TV. Make sure to grab the remote control. Also, check the TV listings and be ready to report what’s good on.
* Learn how to make all my favorite foods; master all the recipes found at Chocolate Covered Katie. Pay special attention to the cookie dough pancakes, s’mores muffins, and chocolate-fudge cake. (I may not be vegan but I don’t care because my keyboard is covered in drool.)
* You’ll also be sent out frequently for: Pop-Tarts, Chipotle, Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked pints, and blueberry english muffins. To balance it out also pick up my healthier picks: carrots, apples, broccoli, cauliflower, and cottage cheese.
* Start the shower, stand in there until it’s hot enough and it stays that way. I don’t want to suddenly get an arctic blast midway through.
* Make sure the toilet paper rolls over the top.
* Record the episodes I haven’t seen of: Glee, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, Mad Men, Rizzoli and Isles, Wizards of Waverly Place, Family Guy, South Park, and The Soup. Don’t question my taste in TV.
* Watch Seinfeld reruns and ignore me as I recite the lines. Oh, and greet me with ‘Top of the Muffin to YOU!!!’
* Don’t be stingy with exclamation points!!!!!
* Be my body buffer so I’m not the one sitting directly next to the crazy lady on the bus yelling at her invisible friend. Same goes for the creeper lurking in front of my mailbox and the lady 
with a ton of cacti in her powder blue VW van giving me the stink eye.
* Refill my ice cups. Not the ones used for drinks but the ones I use to ice my foot.
* Make sure my pillow is fluffy. Not the one that I put my head on, because I like that one smushed in. The fluffy pillow goes between my knees because I like to sleep on my side.
* Stay current on replacing my running shoes. Also the latest US magazine, Running Times, Track and Field News, and Shape.
Please apply in person. I want to get a good look at you. 🙂
———————-
In other news, today’s workout was an easy 8 mile and change on the treadmill. Yesterday was the workout from H-E-double hockeystick…not that it was unusually hard or something I shouldn’t have been able to handle but I just had a realllly sucky day. We all have those bad days, and that was the case. It got ugly and that’s all I’m going to say about it. Took it easy today, then did some core and abs work. And let the day begin!! 🙂
1) What are you in need of a personal assistant for?
2) Workouts for today, let’s hear ’em!
Haha, this cracked me up! I could use a personal assistant too, thanks!
So…that is a seriously gorgeous photo of you!
🙂
aw, thanks girl and glad i could give you a laugh…and here's to both of us finding an assistant! 😉
oh, and as much as i WISH that was me, that is actually a pic of my younger sis and bro! and yes, she's gorgeous!! sorry, i think my proud sisterly love is showing. 😉
You are hilarious! And you are totally original–never would've thought you swooped an idea! This is so clever!!! I hope you find a tall, dark handsome assistant! 🙂
hahahaha! this is awesome! absolutely love it! Can I just get a personal assistant to go sit in class for me. I would LOVE that! Today's workout is an easy 3-4 with my sister who is visiting 🙂 So excited to run with her!!! woo hoo! have a fabulous night! Hope you get some qualified candidates for your assistant 😉
Hahahahaha this is hilarious. I need a personal assistant to politely turn my alarm off for the 8 snooze sessions I need to get out of bed, to make me a smoothie that doesn't taste like grit, to kindly kill all spiders and millipedes (you know how it is), to create a chocolate-flavoured gum that actually tastes like chocolate, and to water my plants.
We had a run at my school today and I couldn't participate in it 🙁 so I went on the elliptical for 30 minutes instead and actually sweat. I hate the elliptical, but it's working for me right now. Then did a 15-minute circuit of push ups, planks, and one-legged burpees with the BOSU ball.
Did a post today about TRX training, you are hardcore so would love it 🙂
Oh, and also, I want to be your assistant. So I can stare at you all day. That is all.
Um I think you should hire me, as I will fit all of the above mentioned criteria. I think I would need an assistant to prep my morning oats for me so they are at the perfect temperature when I wake, to travel to the US to get all of the Larabar flavours that are unavailable in Canada, and to open up a Trader Joe's in my basement (we don't have that either).
Jess…thank you so much! it might sound super dorky but i am not kidding when my stomach dropped after seeing your post! i was so afraid you'd think i was trying to do some lame knock-off! yours was seriously hilarious! that said, umm, if they aren't tall, dark and handsome, i won't even open the door. 😉
Julia…i'll let you know the moment i find someone who doesn't mind getting permanent butt in seat syndrome. Hope your run was great!
Katy…HAHAHAHA now you have me laughing! u can be my assistant only if u grant me the same liberty and spend half the time with ur back to me. 🙂 oh, and seriously, i don't get the whole smoothie obsession people have! yes, i know they can be made super healthy but i'm just not loving em. umm, okay i'm sore just reading about your one-legged BOSU burpees. been to the blog, and just so u know i'm stealing ur TRX. u've been warned.
Christina…you poor thing no Larabars AND no TJ's?!?! wtf canada? seriously tho, send me ur addy and i'll start sending u care packages! hearing this latest news, i'm thinking that i'm gonna have to smuggle u and katy down across the border. just saying. 🙂
Um, yeah. My Mom and Dad just came back from the US and brought back Kashi Fibre/Protein bars. TO. DIE. FOR. I'll send down ketchup chips, Smarties and Swiss Chalet for a swap.
that sounds like a deal! wat kinda country u guys running up there not having these total foodie necessities??!! send me the addy's, the orders and cait's got u covered. that said…ketchup chips?!?! u've got me intrigued baby!