It’s a Treadmill War: There will be losers and potentially collateral damage

The line of treadmills at the gym is like a runner’s minefield. Sometimes you enter, innocently minding your own business, start up the belt happily going about your scheduled run and BAM!!! TREADMILL WAR!!
treadmill war
You unassumingly are turned into the opposing party when Jon or Janette Ego Doe on the next treadmill over have decided to make it their mission to beat you.

Signs that you’ve been turned into General Fartlek:
* Tell tale beeps from the next treadmill over
* Increased huffing and puffing resonating from next treadmill
* Peeking Tom/Tammy looking over your shoulder (why do these people think they can try and casually disguise their obvious leering?)

Sometimes it’s fun to mess with them, we’re all human. Go on the offensive with these power moves:
* Pace zagger:
We don’t zig because we only go one way, and that is UP
* Nose breather: Admit it, you know you start making your breathing even quieter on purpose
* Smile: Kill them with kindness and flash them an ‘I know what you’re doing’ smile

And the Reward:
* Winning, right?

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Speaking of wars…the September Miles Madness Competition is headed into its final countdown! This Week 4 will include all the days that take us to the end of September, so make your final totals and update the Google doc…we want to WIN!! :)
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Blatant Pimping My New Shirts: Check my awesome store, peeps! ;)

1) Do you have a funny treadmill war story?
Actually I DO but the best one doesn’t involve me; so let’s just say the above cartoon is based off of real life events.

2) Have you ever instigaetd a treadmill war? Fess up!

3) What’s your Saturday run on plan??

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25 thoughts on “It’s a Treadmill War: There will be losers and potentially collateral damage

  1. I don’t use the treadmill very often – I think I’d like to more – particularly over summer. Of course I race people. I love outlasting people on the treadmill. If they get on after me I have to keep running (and nose breathing) until they leave again. I will be the fittest damnit.

    Also that picture is horrendous. Wait! It’s a really well-done picture. I can’t handle the … omg…. if someone did that next to me there would seen be two of us throwing up (sincerely, sympathetic spewer and vomit-phobes anonymous member).

    • haha…oh man, yea it was pretty horrendous all around. i’m surprised there wasn’t a manic vomit outbreak from all those vomit-phobes present! ;)

  2. You should share the Google Docs link again :). I had to dig through my email to get it out but I logged my miles… definitely a high mileage week for me but it’s paying off :). I’m not a big treadmill runner anymore… it really affects my form when I run on one alot, as I tend to keep my arms closer which I shouldn’t do. But it’s good for rainy, cold, days or for intervals/speedwork (esp. since we don’t have a good track in my town). But nothing compares to a good outside run!

    • ya..the tread is best busted out in the winter to get quality sessions if it’s too slick outside!
      PS- if u log into ur Google acct. and go to doc’s they will take u right to it :)

  3. I don’t have any funny treadmill war stories – I’m not super competitive so I don’t instigate them. But I can’t deny the ego boost that comes with running for a while and seeing multiple people get on the treadmill next to you, finish their workout, and leave. ;)

    I can The Color Run today! It was 110% not on plan because I got five hours of sleep last night and my body was barely functioning this morning. It’s impossible to be competitive with The Color Run, though, because all 15K people went in some 15 waves, so it wasn’t a huge deal.

  4. Yes, I have glanced over at the pace of the person running next to me. Any challenges dont’ last as I settle in to running my own race and pace. It’s strange how the noise one makes when running is not indicative of pace.
    I have been known to be running next to someone who stops running, goes home, sleeps, cooks breakfast, reads the paper, starts a family, changes careers, and then they come back to the club and I’m still there running.

    But now I’ve got my own hookup at home, which I highly recomend, and the treadmill wars at the club don’t happen.

    • haha…make sure u add in there that ur little treadmill foe was also able to buy themselves a Rascal and scoot their way to the casket too…jk.
      and THANKS for the miles update…got it!

  5. I haven’t had a gym membership in years, and when I did I was young/dumb and not a runner by any stretch of the imagination. No good tales. I have my own treadmill now so the only person I compete against is myself – kind of boring now that I think about it.

    I ran a 5k on saturday, and that was the extent of my weekend running.. lazy bum right here!

    • hahaha…u COULD!!! c’mon Madge was busting out 10milers in her prime then rocking in concert. i kno u can channel enough awesome inner chick to win a tread war! ;)

  6. Hi, Cait. I am an old man (62) who is about 50 pounds (or more) overweight, and I just started a exercise program on my treadmill. I stumbled across one of your articles via google about keeping your mind focused while running, “liked” you on FB, and hope some of your articles will help me keep not just my mind focused, but my body focused on walking and running so that I can actually “run” a 5K in April, 2014.

    • Hi Wayne, thank you so much for you comment…and I’m soooo happy to hear that you’ve gotten yourself involved in the BEST sport around! :) You take it at your own pace, walk/run and keep doing that consistently and you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll improve, the weight you’ll lose, but most importantly how PROUD you’ll feel. Keep me posted, and you will ROCK that 5k. :)

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