Universal Awareness for Runners Yelling, “Track”

Find me a track runner who doesn’t have Lane One mindless pedestrian stories and I’ll show you a unicorn who poops gold.

There really needs to be more universal awareness for the word, “Track!” It seems pretty flipping clear to me, no? As it is, when you’re in the middle of a 5 mile tempo, gut-wrenching 400’s, or dare we even THINK about, a race…having to yell anything seems like a burden. We may say, “Track,” but you know we’re all thinking, “Look, A-hole, wise up and move the eff outta my way…I’m busting my @$$ and you’re walking a 15min mile…clear the heck out of LANE ONE!”
runner yelling track
If you knew it wouldn’t ruin your split, you know all runners harbor the fantasy of dropping shoulder and just plowing through the oblivious idiot. For all of us who have fruitlessly, wished, go read Mo’s account of an epic Lane One throw-down. I’m only sorry it messed up the runners’ repeat.

I’m not heartless, okay, there have been days where little kiddies are weaving in and out of Lane One. I’m not anti-child, but I’m also not going to lie and say that when I’m running and already feel like I’m dying, I really don’t want to have to play Chicken with your child. Parents, please, do all us runners a favor and bolster their love of track in Lanes 6-8.

Teenagers who think you’re funny, cackling at us from the infield or on the bleachers ‘kickin’ it’ after school. You’re not funny. But to their credit if they are clear of the inside lanes, by all means go about your business. The world will offer you its slap of reality soon enough. Enjoy thinking you’re the coolest things to ever walk the planet. Or, come down and join us for some fun on the track…you would actually be cool if you helped pace, we’d love you forever!

What it really boils down to is this: I don’t care what language you speak, I don’t care if you worship a deity or the all-mighty Swoosh. You can be purple or polka dot, you can be in love with Cheetos or Pop-Tarts, you can be cool and have an addiction for running or find your sweat elsewhere.

I’m one of the least judgmental people in the world, but when someone yells, “Track,” you better move the he## outta Lane One.

1) What is your worst Lane One horror story?
No joke, middle of a 3k race and I was almost impaled by a javelin…girl was holding it and decided to stroll across the turn just as I was rounding it.

2) Do you typically yell something out if you need your path cleared when running, or not?

3) What is another rule of the track that needs to be better enforced or the masses need some schooling on?

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16 thoughts on “Universal Awareness for Runners Yelling, “Track”

  1. I guess I’ve been lucky – I did my workouts on a university track, and seldom had a problem. I avoided it during scheduled, university-team practices (for anything), but once the fields were turned over to the recreational soccer/field hockey/football players in the evening, I figured it was fare game. Everyone (magically, I guess) obeyed the rules quite well, and I never had a problem. In fact, the soccer players (who played short-wise across the field) were always super respectful and careful. SO, if you’re looking for a good track, I suggest the one at the University of Rochester. πŸ˜‰

  2. Oh, this is so funny! I have never run on a track the way you describe – don’t even know where the nearest is – and I suspect they are a bit less common here in Australia (outside of professional sports training centres) than in America. I sure would love to see you mowing down people in your way though πŸ˜‰

  3. Holly crap on the jav! I haven’t been to a real track in ages, but I did athletics as a kid, and I was the mindless wanderer. I have no sense of direction, and I drift. Thankfully my Dad schooled me well, and I’ve always known that runners in lane 1 are not to be messed with.

    So…did the elbow come out?

  4. I change up the direction I run on the track, but if I’m the dude who is running against the grain, usually clockwise is against the flow, then I yield to the other runners. If anyone is doing intervals or speedwork, they always get the inside lane. As for yelling something, I do not, I simply save my flatulence for just as I run by, and turbo charge my pass.

    • no, actually u’re SMART to do some running the ‘wrong way.’ i used to do my warm-up’s and cooldown the opposite way, because if u’re doing all ur workouts/races constantly turning left u can actually get some imbalances. so point and win to mark. πŸ˜‰

  5. One time when I was running repeats on an indoor track, a bunch of kids ranging in age from toddler to teenager flooded the track. They weren’t running – they just walked together in huge clusters and completely blocked the lanes. I couldn’t figure out where they came from, what type of group they were with and who was supposed to watch them. Especially the baby that was toddling along by himself at the very back of the group. It was completely unsafe and annoying!

    • that’s crazy!! i see the headline: ‘random mob invading indoor track, runner left to push through…push to snarky teen was a necessary action’

  6. I don’t run on a track but I run on my path by my house and when people get in my way, I am not a happy girl! And, why must they try to stop me to chat when I am clearly running? Do I look like I am out for a stroll? lol

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