Be smart…always run with socks! 😉 Some Thursday giggles for you runners. ———- More running CARTOONS!! Tips for managing GI Issues for runners. My latest article on Active: How to Learn From Your First Race of the Season
Us runners sure do a number on our poor tummies. All the pounding, up, down, fast, jiggling, jiving…if our stomaches and intestines could speak I can only imagine the expletives they’d be yelling at us! Actually, those stomaches and intestines of runners DO speak…just with things much more powerful, dare I even say explosive, than words. Yes, runners and their guts are stuck in a state of ongoing negotiations. “PLEASE behave for my long run, preeeettty please!!” the runner’s silent prayer before heading out the door. Runners plan their foods accordingly, learn from trial and error, we do our best to set ourselves up to avoid a stomach related attack but sometimes it feels like we’re in some kind of peace-treaty contract negotiation House of Cards style. Those runner guts are testy, moody, volatile. Sometimes there is just NO pleasing them despite what feels like us doing our best to abide by the ‘rules’. I’ve done a few posts on handling GI issues HERE and HERE Today let’s talk about those post-run, especially post-workout tummies and guts. After all that jiggling and jiving lots of runners complain of feeling nauseous, that food is the LEAST appealing thing in the world, and sometimes runners actually struggle to keep food down. The issue is that runners ALSO know how incredibly important refueling your body and muscles is within the first 30 minutes of finishing your workouts. In order to maximize your recovery (upwards of 60% better) so you can come back stronger, it really is crucial to find something, anything that will get into your system and STAY there. This is an occasion where liquids can be a runner’s best friend. If you struggle with keeping actual food down due to an upset stomach after your runs and hard workouts take it Continue Reading →
There is an art to simultaneously running and farting. To be properly mastered, it takes an expert combination of selective muscle control and timing with your stride. That said, there are few things more gratifying than running and letting go of that abominable bubble of gas in your intestines. The joy of letting one rip is only exponentially rewarding when you’ve been carrying along a potential GI disaster for miles, painfully holding back, but then realize that rather than a number 2 on your hands, the mounting, monster pain-ball was only…GAS!! Pit stop averted. Go along and keep perfecting your running farts, Runners. Though, what separates the Lukes from the Yodas among is are the ones who can relax/contract/time during races and hard workouts without losing so much of a millisecond off their pace. —— GI issues for runners addressed HERE and HERE. More Runner’s Strip and cartons HERE. —— 1) Worst GI nightmare run? 2) Name a time when you thought it was going to be a nightmare number 2 episode while running but then realized it was just a big ball of gas…you can’t tell me the amount of relief you feel is nearly euphoric. 3) Do you have any shame letting a painful gas ball go while running? Do you hold back during certain times or in certain company?
Sometimes it feels like it can take an eternity before we actually get out the door for that run. Between taking care of all those creaks and squeaks, making sure the ‘guts’ and bladder are ready to roll, and WHY does that darn Garmin sometimes seem to be looking for that darn satellite by way of hot air balloon?! This doesn’t even take into the account the times where you know you’re purposefully stalling…c’mon, you really don’t need to check Facebook AGAIN. 😉 It’s true, the runner’s pre-run routine may snowball at times, BUT I’ll tell you what, I like to run first thing in the morning and I’m also a total sucker for wanting every ounce of sleep so I’ve pared my routine down to about 10 minutes between eye ball crusty wiping and hitting the road. Here are some of my quick tips: 1) Lay all the gear out the night before. Shoes unlaced and sitting next to my pile of clothes, Garmin sitting (hooked up to the charger because I am petrified of it running out of batteries mid-run) next to my clothes. 2) Hit the bathroom. I give myself about 10 minutes to let my guts wake up (I allow myself this window of email/website/Facebook time…but I look at the clock and stick to just 10 minutes.) and off I go. 3) Start locating. I hit the ‘locate’ button for my Garmin when I go into the bathroom to let that sucker start up. On my way out it’s done 99% percent of the time. BOOM. I’m out…no more farting around for this girl. I will say that I have a finicky stomach so I eat a big snack before going to bed at night and then don’t eat in the morning. If you DO need Continue Reading →
Running can be brutally hard sometimes, that’s why it’s important to make sure you’ve got a sense of humor. Runners can have a sick sense of humor; don’t blame us, it’s kind of like a coping mechanism. Really, sometimes you just have to laugh to keep on going! So in the spirit of taking the edge off the lactic acid burning and other running maladies, I’ve re-captioned a few of my pieces of art… The butt-clenched shuffle, been there. [Actually serious posts to help with GI Issues: HERE and HERE.] Ahh, the cover of darkness can at least save you from ruining someone else’s lunch. At least you know you definitely ran hard! [To be noted: when I originally drew this, I had meant for that to be a ponytail dangling over the runner’s shoulder and they were just hunched over. Only now am I realizing that the picture could be put to use in doing grade-school humored barf jokes! GOLD!] Come on, you know you’re all thinking of that when you see someone’s race shots and they look like it could grace the covers of Runner’s World. I mean it’s certainly not jealousy when you see how crappy your own shots turn out, right?! 😉 I know how important it is to stretch, so WHY is it harder to get myself to go to yoga than it is to do 400 repeats until fail? Actually, it’s IMPORTANT to step to the line a gamer. Be confident in yourself, and if you have to let your ego take over for a bit…go with it! Just keep the thoughts in your head, you don’t have to turn into a Kanye. True fact. Runners, well, we are just better. We laugh an the unlaughable so we can live to get to the Continue Reading →
In case you needed an excuse to hit up Krispy Kreme, today is National Buy a Donut Day; please runners, by all means indulge, let’s just make sure it’s of the 100% whole wheat vareity. 😉 Let’s talk runner eats. I’m the first person to shout from the rooftops, “I run so I can eat like a Sumo-(wo)man and not look like one!” As runners we do carry license to do some damage when it comes to the grinding; but, at the same time we recognize that we are fueling those miles. If we want quality miles, then we should do our body the justice of giving it QUALITY fuel, right? It all comes back to balance and moderation, isn’t it the truth with everything? Enter easy days and hard workout days. So while we can wolf down a pizza the size of our head, polish off the Entemenn’s coffee cake, that’s not ALL we eat, and we most of us don’t do that every day. Though no judgement if you do, trust me I’ve got runner friends who eat cleaner than a pro-body builder competing for a show and then I’ve got friends who eat their weight in Big Macs. I’ve done a couple article on various nutrition topics for runners: Going Gluten Free Setting a Pre-Race Eating Plan When to Eat High and Low on the Glycemic Index Running and GI Issues Post-Run 30 Minute Refuel Window That last one is probably the one I’d force down all of your throats…it’s SUPER important for your muscle recovery to get that food into you system and start the refuel RIGHT after you run. Today let’s talk about balance here. Food should be enjoyed, it should be loved, you can spoon with your Pop-Tarts at night if you need to. Continue Reading →
Runners and Sundays; for some it’s the delegated long run day which then means: license to be totally lazy and slothful for the rest of the day. You don’t even have to move hand to mouth if you don’t want to, just train Fluffy to grab the spoon, Ben & Jerry’s and learn to shovel. 😉 Just kidding, but to be fair to B&J cold ice cream isn’t the worst kind of post-run refuel, I mean there’s the whole chocolate milk movement…ice cream seems like a logical piggy-backer onto that, right? Regardless, Sundays are also known to be a little lazy and lackadaisical so in tribute I’ll spare your eyes much reading and give you some flashes of brain nugget wisdomisms. * Running’s mental but not THAT mental. Running usually comes down to a battle of wills, but sadly you can’t totally imagine your workouts into fulfillment…there is visualization to improve what could be but you have to follow up with DOING it. Motivation wanes but when in doubt, kick yourself in the tush to get the first mile done…the first interval done…and get ‘er done. * Lean, mean, protein machine. I’m a carbo-loving freak like none other; running burns lots of energy so for a long time I didn’t actually think about my carb to protein ratio and dived into Pop-Tart gluttony. BUT that changed after I graduated high school and once I made a conscious effort to up my protein (I still didn’t slack on the carbs though!) I noticed a big difference in the amount of lean muscle I had. * It’s a gas. Runner’s are always fun to chat up GI issues with…not in the moment though. Gas, the runs, bush dives, 6 pre-race port-a-potty stops, you name it. Don’t be shy about speaking up because Continue Reading →
Runners, we may look like a pretty straight-laced bunch but don’t be fooled by the outward appearances. Sure, we generally off up quick smiles, have a few odd quirks and harbor an affection miles and miles that can appear rather harmless. We travel in packs and groups, duos and trios, but even flying solo we are up to some mischief. Our offenses may seem rather benign to some but we can be rule breakers after all…you’ve been warned! * School Dress Codes: Don’t even bother breaking out the ruler I KNOW my shorts are short but there is no sane runner donning shorts that are down past mid-thigh. Compared to the hazing by chafing that would case I’ll take all the detention in the world. * Abusing Cardio Equipment Limits: I’m tempted to make the second shirt after my ‘Get Chicking’ one to read: “I am knowingly going to step on this treadmill and use it longer than the ‘Cardio Time Limit.’ It’s not that we are being selfish to not share our toys, but our long runs just trump your 15 minute walk, I’m sorry. Just not sorry enough to get off of the treadmill until I’ve filled my mileage quota for the day. * No Loitering: You finish a run and if you’re being a good little runner you know you should move into some stretches, strength and core work, or even some plyometrics. If you spy an open stretch of lawn, a parking lot, or a playground who is it really going to be hurting if we loiter around doing our funny jumps, squats, lunges, and hip circles? * No Eating Past 4pm: PAH-LEEZZZ! Without going off on a wild carb-loving rant here, to anyone who ‘closes their kitchen’ past a certain hour because they think somehow Continue Reading →
Running stereotypes…the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let’s hear them and I’ll even go so far as to own up to the ones I’m guilty of. 1) Wearing sweats or workout gear like they are ‘normal’ clothes. (I do want it to be known I DO own ‘normal people clothes’ and have been known to actually wear them!) 2) Having far too much of your income being spent on food. Guilty…I go through sleeves of bagels and english muffins. 3) Talking about GI issues like they are regular conversational topics. What, you don’t all discuss the less than stellar pit-stop points on a particular route over lunch too? Also, love this poster that was up on SkinnyRunner: 4) You can tell how experienced a runner is by what they are wearing. *Frosh year of high school: boys wearing boxer shorts and long basketball shorts *Soph year: boy ditches boxers but still clings to longer shorts *Jr year: boy caves to short shorts but swears on his life he’ll never don running tights *Sr year: boy is wearing running tights 5) Runners are secretly constantly comparing their times/paces to the ones they hear any celebrity doing. They either laugh or respect the celebrity accordingly. Totally guilty! I read that Jennifer Aniston said she runs on the treadmill at 6mph (10 min/pace) and I knew I could take her. I later read that Ryan Reynolds ran a 3:50 marathon and was impressed, I mean not too shabby for an actor. This was around the time he was dating Scarlett Johansen and she was seen running in the Vibrams…I disliked her even more. (PS-I just outed myself as a celeb rag reader…opps!) 6) Runners will have odd tan lines. Guilty of the watch and sock tan at times…watch one comes with the Continue Reading →
“But my biggest fears come from things like, what happens if I have to, like, go poop? I mean, what do you do? Really. Do you stop or do you just do it?” This comes from Lauren Fleshman as her biggest fear going into the NYC Marathon. I’d have to say that would rank up there in my list of fears should I be entered in a marathon. So today, it’s all about poop. I have horrible GI issues, my mom too, I guess I inherited some poopy pants in the gene pool. Fair warning, this post may disgust some, but I’m going to put it out there because 1) it is what it is…c’mon, if you’ve been running long enough you’ve experienced this on some level 2) perhaps we can take some solace in the fact that we’ve all been there and 3) maybe we can swap tips and if nothing else stories…oh, let the good times roll. I remember the first time I had to go on a run; I was with my mom and up until that point I thought the whole pooping behind the bush was just disgusting. But we all have that breaking point…you know, the butt clench waddle, then the feeling of, “I need a bush NOW!” It then becomes more a matter of, it’s either going in a bush or in your pants…what would you rather choose? From that day on, I’ve cast aside any judgement on making your own personal port-a-loo…and can joke with other runners, “If you go out on a run and someone in the group comes back with one less sock, you just don’t ask questions.” I’ve compared poop stories with the best of them, and what really gets me…what REALLY bugs me is that the blasted ‘issues’ can Continue Reading →