Posts in the Facing Fears Category at , Page 3

Brain Warp: Running mentally tough by changing how your brain interprets those pain messages

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Cait — 13 Comments ↓

A runner’s brain is constantly being flooded by sensory input information. Feedback from the muscles, skin, lungs, eyes, ears, feet, nerves from everything. It’s a matter of taking all of these messages and warping them into what is in the runners’ best interest.
runner profile
The Physical Messages

Typically the loudest feedback responders are going to be from your muscles and lungs. Here comes relays from your cardiovascular system and lactic threshold responders. The muscles announcing they are being worked, those mitochondria are breaking down glycogen and supplying your energy to run on; they are attention mongers demanding to be credited for their work.

These are pretty basic, primordial messages to your brain. Instinctual. You can’t change that these messages will be sent and that they are mostly containing shouts of pain, complaints, and fatigue.

You can’t control what messages are coming in while you are running but you CAN control how you interpret them. A runner that is mentally tough is able to manage and get as close to ignoring certain sensory feedback as they can.

* Anticipate: Incidentally the ability to manage what your legs and body are telling you while you run starts before the first step. This is anticipating the uncomfort in pain. It is a reality, but it is one we must both accept and deny. Accept the race and workouts will hurt but deny that we will let that pain break us. Anticipating the pain is a lot different from fearing it.
* Realize: Once you realize that EVERYONE will hurt when they push themselves running, not just you, a runner doesn’t feel alone. Admitting pain is present is not a weakness, admitting that these workouts are tough isn’t a weakness…it only becomes a weakness when you start to believe you can’t do the workouts.
* Assess: As you run assess the messages you’re being told and start to ‘sort’ them. Pain of a workout is present and it’s a different pain from that of an injury. Sort the ‘usual’ pain into the ‘ignore’ pile and be attuned to the ‘different’ pain.
your brain on running
* Reassess/Rework: Now that you have the ‘ignore’ pile it’s time to reassess those messages and rework them. We’ve acknowledged you can’t STOP them from coming in but you override them through a runner’s coping mechanisms.
1) Visualization- By practicing how you will be running beforehand you condition yourself to stay positive and controlled DURING your running, racing, and workouts.
2) Self-Talk- Mantra’s work well, flip the ‘I can’t keep this pace up’ into something productive like, ‘I am strong’ or ‘I will not let this break me.’
3) Focus on Controllables- When the pain of running becomes more intense hone in on the ‘controllables’ like stride, form, and breathing. Counting steps or breaths acts as a distraction.
4) Goals- Always set goals for your running workouts and races beforehand. Don’t ambiguously go in because without concrete numbers or goals it’s easier to let your brain talk you into just ‘settling’ and giving up when the pain starts.
5) Selective Denial- We come back to runners living in a kind of state of denial. The lies of, ‘I’m only running one more repeat/mile/5-minutes/step’ get us to the next point, where we then lie again.

Confidence

A runner draws confidence from a lot of places: past workouts, a full season of training, race times, other runners they train with that have faster PR’s, etc. A large part of being mentally tough is being confident that you can WARP the messages coming into your brain and OVERRIDE them to push through the pain.

This confidence is built up the longer you run, the snowball effect. As with all other rules of running it hinges upon consistency, consistently proving you can push through the pain. There are margins for error and just like bad races there will be days where you don’t do a great of a job running and overriding the pain messages as you know you’re capable of.

You get through the bad days, learn where you went wrong, and then take those lessons into your next run.

Let your running be ruled by expertly brain warping that flood of sensory feedback from your body. Don’t let the messages steal your confidence because you CAN run and do a lot more than your body would like you to believe.

1) Anticipating the pain isn’t fearing it; fear takes hold of you and consumes your running confidence. What is a refute you use to keep this anticipation in check? (ie: remember times you’ve pushed through pain, mantra, pre-race hyping yourself up tactic, etc.)

2) Give an example of how you take assessing an incoming message you want to ignore and then reassess/rework it.

3) What are a few of the ways/places you draw confidence as a runner?

Combat Excuses and Run Mentally Tough Even When Things Suck

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Cait — 19 Comments ↓

It’s ‘easy’ to run fast when everything is going right. Ideal conditions, you’re hitting perfect splits, the legs have POP. The thing is though, the real test of a runner and their mental toughness is how they respond to all the other days.

There will workouts in heat, wind, and rain. Runs where, for whatever reason your legs just don’t ‘show up’…they are flat. Other times you’ll be left gutting out a really tough workout but forced to run it solo. But you can’t take those things as EXCUSES. FACTORS, certainly, perhaps you’ll have to adjust the workout, but don’t start looking for a cop-out.
running shoes
See, your mind is an expert manipulator. It’s already looking for ANY kind of excuse, viable reason to tell you to stop this silly running, ease up, slow down, cut yourself some slack. A runner’s constantly working against that sort of ingrained human trait, to push past the limits the mind is imposing on the body.

A runner must combat the voices of doubt and complaining already…think of it like a basal level of white noise in the background that you must ignore just to get out the door and running the first few steps. Hard workouts up the ante, taking that constant background chatter and giving it a megaphone; you’ve got to not only ignore it but COMBAT it by telling it to, “Shut the h*** up!” Gearing yourself up to run hard takes extra mental reserves, through the course of the workout the amount of positive self-talk escalates as you tire, as the pain REALLY sets in.

Running that hard workout when things are all falling into place, the momentum of hitting the splits and you’re clicking, is infinitely easier than when even ONE thing is off. (ex: it’s hot out) That single ‘off-factor’ and your mind JUMPS on the opportunity for a cop-out, “Just cut yourself some slack, I mean it’s hot out.”

Ease up and that quickly can morph into this the next hard workout: “Just cut yourself some slack, your legs just feel flat today. It’s not your fault…just ease up today and next time when your legs feel really good we’ll go hard…deal?”

See, that slippery, manipulative brain of yours works fast. You can’t wait for that ‘perfect’ day for a few reasons:

1) PERFECT: Those fan-freaking-tasting workouts are the anomaly, wait around for them and they darn well may never come.
2) VICIOUS CYCLE: Start giving in to that whining brain every time the pain sets in and things get tough and it’s the snowball effect. Soon you’ll be pulling out every time you have a hangnail on your pinkie toe.

Bad workouts and horrible races happen, they actually make you a TOUGHER runner because if you can mentally get through them, stay strong and still give it all you had for the day, you’ll prove something very important to yourself:

I can run when it sucks. I can run better when it doesn’t suck…but I CAN run when things are really sucky.

Those mental battles, where you win, build confidence. You need that. Conversely, take too many of those excuses to not still give it your all out there running and you get used to it. Getting used to that is like the kiss of death for a runner…it’s like a fatal virus. Because running hurts, despite how much we must deny it to ourselves for the sake of actually doing it.

You have to be tough to be a runner. The TOUGH runners are the ones who battle through even when the splits are off, they get stuck in no-man’s land during a race, and they’re doing a hard workout by themselves.

Some of the workouts you should be most proud of may have been where you were running horribly off pace, but you got through it. You were TOUGH. Next time, when the legs do show up, the times will come but you’ll have the extra confidence of knowing you can run hard when things suck.

1) Weather is certainly something to FACTOR into your workouts of course and adjust the times. How do you plan to adjust due to the elements and conditions outside of your control?

2) How do you handle the workouts where your legs just don’t show up for the day? What kind of positive self-talk do you turn to?

3) Share a workout or race that you are proud of for your mental toughness, maybe a part of the story the actual numbers can’t fully recount.

Three Traits of ‘The Best’: Be it in business or running

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Cait — 15 Comments ↓

I’m a runner, but to pay the bills I’m a writer. In doing some reading for work I came across an article highlighting a few of the traits that the author felt made Steve Jobs the incredible innovator that he was.

The thing is, be it a creative dreamer in the business world or a motivated runner with aspirations, many of the traits that will get you to the top in one apply to the other. A goal is a goal after all, being goal-driven and having the ability to persevere comes down to pretty much the same things.

The Entrepreneur article was a good read, but I found myself hearing echos of themes I’ve written about right here.
runner by tree
PASSION. Do what you love and regardless of outcome never forget that you love it. Running is wrought with highs and lows, to get through the tough times you need to remember that underneath it all, you really do have a genuine love for running in the purest form. Running fast is awesome, but running as a stand-alone needs to be your passion.

CURIOSITY. I’ll stretch this to mean more having the ability to wonder, “What can I do?” Run curious. Run for the journey of finding your best. Dream epic goals and go for them. Even if you fail you’re still better off than being moved to shoot for it.

NO FEAR. They say Jobs wasn’t afraid of failing, good. Because you shouldn’t be afraid, failures happen. They are unavoidable, you learn from failures and the epic fails of races and workouts make you BETTER. Or rather, they’ll make you better if you’re able to learn from them and apply those lessons going forward.

Running may be ~~better~~ different than business in a number of ways, but getting to the top of something takes the same qualities regardless. This works even if the ‘top’ is your personal best. That’s the remarkable thing about running, even if you’re never going to realistically set a World Record or win an Olympic Medal you can still take the journey. Have the courage, tenacity, and CURIOSITY to take the trek to find your best.

Run curious, my friends. Run without fear. Run with PASSION.

1) What is a trait that you had before you were a runner that has helped your running?

2) What is a trait that running has actually helped you acquire and hone?

3) How do you try to run without fear?

Running For YOUR Epic

Posted on March 15, 2013 by Cait — 25 Comments ↓

If you’re going to do something, why not make it epic? This quote has been running through my mind lately; 1) I’m working on a pretty exciting project, stay tuned for details and 2) It also has to do with THIS cartoon and the story behind it..sorry, Mo, I stole your word! 😉

But back to the quote, and going for epic. Perhaps I should edit it to say: “If you’re going to do something, why not TRY and make it epic.”
peacock runner
Because the truth of the matter is you very well may not wind up making it all the way to epic. I’m not being pessimistic, just realistic. Some people would argue that quote is setting people up for disappointment, “If I’m never going to run in the Olympics, be the best in the world, or set a World Record, then where is the point in all this training?”

True, most people won’t ever set a National or World Record, they won’t come home with a Gold Medal. But the thing is, I’ll guarantee you that you’ll run and set a Personal Record at some point…probably more.

Insert obligatory eye-roll here. But let me continue. The people who don’t at least TRY for epic really are just afraid to step out of their comfort zone. Their comfort zone is safe, it ensure they won’t really fail, it also ensure they probably really won’t excel…they’ll just be nice, safe, *gasp* mediocre. Now, mediocre is totally OKAY, nothing wrong with it at all. But the thing is, if you’re NOT okay with mediocre, you’re always welcomed to TRY for epic.

Running is awesome because it is a sport where anyone can improve with hard work, grit, determination, and self-motivation. The feelings of PR’s and knowing you pushed yourself to new limits are indescribably self-fulfilling. The feeling of KILLING it in a track workout or race are, in a word, epic.

Why not shoot for epic?

Define epic…it is greatness, it is awesomeness, it is rewarding, it is awes-freaking-tastic. But all of those can be different for different people. You see, epic doesn’t have to be defined as setting a World Record or being a total flop of a failure. YOUR epic may be realizing that you much stronger, faster, fitter, mentally stronger than your ‘mind’ told you that you were.
keep running
Quite honestly, you may wind up short along the way. A goal you don’t hit, eventually you will set your last PR…*single tear*. When you hit the climax, what the heck happens if you DON’T hit what, in your mind, was your ‘epic’?

You would be allowed to be disappointed. But I GUARANTEE you that you’re much higher up on the ‘epic scale’ than when you started. Running and training your @$$ off, you maybe didn’t hit the pinnacle you wanted, but dang-nam-it you improved.

You didn’t sit at mediocre. You TRIED.

If you’re going to do something, give it your all. If you truly want it, believe in it, and you find it rewarding…TRY for epic.

What holds most people back? Ultimately fear. Right behind it a lack of motivation…lol.

But I think fear is the root of it. Fear of the work it would take. Fear of failure. Fear you’re not good enough. Fear you’re not as good as you think you are…aha…that one!

That brings up the question: Would you rather stay at mediocre but live with the assumption that if you DID try then you would be awesome OR go out on a limb and try, then be faced with the reality that you didn’t quite measure up? Going with the first one will keep you in the safety bubble of mediocre.
track runner
Don’t let insecurities, fear, failures, hard work, REALLY hard work [umm, trust me, track workouts need a whole new word for REALLY. HARD. WORK.], and set-backs rob you from trying for YOUR epic.

Be different, test yourself, push yourself, be unique, FIND YOUR epic. Hell, go run. 😉

1) Define what ‘epic’ would be for you? Pick a goal, it doesn’t necessarily have to be running related.

2) Define what falling short of that epic would mean to you?
Sure it sucks, but we CAN cope with sucky.

3) What has been something that’s held you back from getting to your epic, or holding you back from TRYING for your epic?

Love Your Running Competition and Thrive in Their Presence

Posted on July 22, 2012 by Cait — 7 Comments ↓

When a runner steps to the line they are never alone. The racers next to you all have goals of their own; some of the goals may be the same as your own…you both will be fighting for that same finishing place. Some of those racers may be your own teammates, your friends, your training partners.

But in the end, when the gun goes off you all become one and the same: racers. All other titles momentarily erased.

Of course if you know some of those racers you may devise a race plan where you work together for some portion of the race, helping each of you through the early stages and setting you BOTH up for a better finish. There can be a team component to track, more-so in cross-country, but there inevitable comes a certain point in the race where anyone running next to you is nothing but your competition.

Embrace your competition because they are what will make you faster, and one of the strongest tools you have to utilize in the quest for your best. They will push you to your limits…or rather they will push you to the point where you will have to decide whether you are willing to go to those limits.

This opportunity isn’t solely in races, and with the London Olympics fast approaching, there are some really great articles highlighting Shalane Flanagan and Kara Goucher not just as two of the USA’s top chances for medaling in the Olympic Marathon, but also the fact that they are indeed training partners.

Both are excellent reads, and some things you can gather from both are:

* Train For Your Best: Both women have run nearly every workout together; similar to a race situation when you workout with someone who can push you, both of you end up the winners.

* Race Day Confidence: Of course when the gun goes off, both women rightfully acknowledge friendships and training partner labels are completely taken off the table. In the article featuring Goucher they touch on what it means to have Flanagan around her the longer the race drags on. On the one hand, because they have trained together both can get a bit of a confidence boost having the other around with the thinking, “Look, if Shalane/Kara is still here and handling this and we’ve trained together, I KNOW I belong here and can handle it.” The whole, “This hurts, but she’s doing it, so can I” line of thought.

* In The End You’re Running For One: On the flip side, there is the point where you need to drop your competition. There’s nothing more to be said on that one except that rather than ever fear them, be thankful for them…embrace your competition and allow yourself to thrive under their presence.

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Some people get more nervous knowing faster people are in the race, so here’s a look back on a post I did about race day nerves, how to manage them and actually use them to your advantage.
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1) How do you handle your competition, do you tend to get more nervous if you know faster people are in the same race?

2) For training, do you seek out people to run with who you know are at your same pace or a little faster?

3) Do you enjoy a race more if you know some of the other racers or if you have teammates?
I know I did…always fun to have company on the warm-up and cool-down too! 🙂

dont’ fear compeition

A Non-Love Letter to Quarter Repeats: I wish I didn’t feel like such a misfit stepping onto the track in anticipation of 400’s

Posted on May 20, 2012 by Cait — 11 Comments ↓

A headline jumped through my screen, grabbed this runner around the around the neck and choked out a laugh, smile, then grimace from me in that order. ‘I Love Quarters.’ Now obviously all of our minds went right to track quarters, at this point we’re all so far brainwashed that there was no question what the topic was about. You say you love quarters, eh?

Okay, to be fair to the Running Times article quarters ARE great and yes, we all know they can hone your speed. Often times the workouts we dread the most are the ones we need to do the most…but to actually go and declare that we love them, well I don’t think I could go that far. I know there are people that could, but me, I’m more in love with my long runs and tempo runs.

When I think of quarters I, just like the author, am teleported back to my high school years. What is it about high school and quarter mile repeats? It seems like across the board those are the workouts we all seemed to do all the time. Not saying they don’t work, but just a funny observation there.

The article does a great job of exemplifying how there are a few ways to attack quarter repeats depending on your event and what you’re trying to accomplish, I won’t rehash it all here because Coach McMillan knows his stuff and is ~~probably~~ surely a better resource than I. The only thing I will add is that the quarter workout I recall doing the most my senior year of high school was 10 x 400 with 1 minute recovery jog between each. For a girl with NO speed they were literally all out for me from the get-go but the goal was to run them at my mile pace.

Did I declare my love for them at the time, well, I wouldn’t take it that far but I do believe they helped a lot. Speed was always my weak point, I already had the endurance, and for the high school level this workout isn’t all that complex but one I feel will get the job done.

All that said, quarters make my stomach churn and my face get all twisted up in anticipation…so not of the butterfly variety. Instead, here is my love letter to quarters:

“Dear Mr. 400 meter,
I really wish I could be your best friend and join your cool clique of runners who have an ongoing love affair with you. You know, the fleet-footed speedsters who make rounding the bend and hitting that extra gear look beautiful and effortless. The ones who devour the track with their silken smooth legs, but the same fierce legs with definition like none other. The muscles that are powerhouses pumping full throttle just below the skin. The athletes who can actually get out of a set of blocks and not just face-plant into the track when they take off.
But I’m not, I won’t try to fool anyone, you’d out me as a poser. But I try. The first 100 meters for me is the hardest as my body is trying to grapple with the shock of attempting to sprint. The second 100 meters feels the best, it’s the point where the shock wears off and the lactic acid onslaught has yet to begin…but we all know it’s coming. Passing the 200 I promise my body I’m half-way done (let’s not think about the other repeats, duh) but the legs are starting to realize that my body has instantly gained 300 pounds…hold it together fatso. The homestretch my mind and body are at war, my eyes are locked on the finish and I promise the misery is almost done, but my body begs to differ. I’m plowing through a load of sand trying to finish this d*** quarter. The last 50 my mind drifts to the split saying, “This better be what I want it to be, all this suffering BETTER yield me results or there will be h*** to pay.
I don’t love you, and I’m sorry to be so blunt, I’ve found honesty works best; I love you when I’m done and the workout went my way, but in the end I still know I’m a poser when I step onto the track and go into 400 repeats.
Ambiguously yours,
The Arty Runnerchick”

1) Quarters…love them or hate them?

2) If you ran in high school do you also seem to recall an insane amount of repeat quarters as the basis of nearly all of your workouts?? Hehe.

3) If you do quarter repeats what’s your usual workout? If you don’t, what kind of workout do you do that is geared towards working on your speed?

4) If you have something, a particular workout, that you really don’t love but wish you had more of an affinity for, what is a short little bit you’d like to express to that workout in the manner of my little love letter?

Why All the Track Hate? Overcoming Track-Phobia

Posted on May 8, 2012 by Cait — 19 Comments ↓

Don’t fear the track, embrace it. I have to admit that after yesterday’s post I was a little surprised that it seemed I was in the far minority when it came to actually liking the track. *Gasp* Now, I know that red carpet can seem a little daunting but really, there is no need to run away. Why all the track hate?

Sure, I can see it, the track doesn’t lie. There are no hills to explain away a slow mile here or there, you can’t exactly hide either. Nope, you’re full frontal on the track…exposed. It’s easy to get too wrapped up in the splits, numbers, and monotonous laps but you can do that anywhere. To be fair, the watch doesn’t lie either.

So all this track hate, or I guess track phobia, seems to be an issue begging to be addressed. There are SO many reasons to hit up the oval regardless of whether you plan on racing on it:

* Speed. I’ll pause for you to get all the shudders and groans out if you must, but I’ll say this: it is INCREDIBLY easy to get stuck in a pace rut. Guilty as charged on that one, I didn’t get the nickname ‘One-Speed Chock’ for nothing, but the only way to get out of a rut is to push and pry yourself out of it. If you don’t ever change anything nothing will ever, well, change. Pick at least one day a week and denote it as speed play day…you don’t have to make it too regimented if that scares you off at first. Start simple: warm-up and then alternate slow/fast 200’s…start with 8 laps total and for those 8×200 meters of pick-ups let your stride open up, relax, and the let speed take over. Finish with a cool-down of course. If it feels foreign at first, that’s okay, after a while it will feel a little better…then a little bit more…etc. (Racers-For those already in love with the track and racing, this 200 meter workout can be an excellent tune-up before race day, think two or three days before…the difference is for you really do hit those 200’s fast!)

Okay, I can see why the track can be intimidating for some...but it hurts in the GOOD way! 😉

* Pace says what? If you live near a track, during one of your regular runs plan your route so you can do one of those middle miles on the track. Check to see what your pace is without looking down at the splits, try and test how well your pace gauge is. This is helpful for a few reasons: 1) if it’s an easy day you can really check yourself and see if you are in fact running the right pace for you to recover 2) you want to be able to become better at ‘sensing’ what a certain pace feels like.

* Fast finish. Doing pick-up runs, or adding in a quick, up-tempo mile at the end of some of your steady runs is an excellent way to ‘sneak’ in some quality running that won’t tax your body so much that you’ll be too tired for your next hard workout. Doing just one fast mile at the end of some of your easy runs isn’t enough ‘hard’ running to really zap your legs, and if you do that enough those ‘extra’ miles of quality will add up. Pick a day, do your steady run and end so that you can finish your last mile on the track and run it close to your 10k or half-marathon race pace.

* Tempo. Yes, do your entire tempo on a track…it can seem monotonous but there are people out there doing upwards of 20 miles on a treadmill, you can’t tell me they can’t handle circles. Not only will you probably surprise yourself with a faster time than you’re doing on the roads, this can do wonders for the ego, but you can also use this time to work on that little pace recognition I was talking about. Fine tuning that inner metronome will work wonders come race day; it can help save your race if you are able to sense if you’re going out too fast, or too slow.

Tips to get you spooning with the track…still not convinced that the track is for you?

Start to love that view!

* The Right-Away: If you do a sizable amount of running on the track, do half of it running the ‘correct’ way, counter-clockwise, and then the other half running in the clockwise direction. Be mindful if others are on the track and maybe run in the outside lanes for this ‘wrong’ way running. The reason for this is that always turning left can lead to some imbalances, and it’s good to keep things even if you can. This also can help break up the run and beat boredom.

* Sans Watch: On the track it’s easy to just run for distance so you can chuck the watch. You can then make sure you’re running true recovery pace and off of feel for your easy days and it relieves the pressure if you get too stressed on hard workouts; just run hard.

* Get company: Getting faster is possible with the track AND with people for those hard days…can’t say it enough: “If you want to get better, train with someone better than you.”

* Baby Steps. Bill Murray had it right, the only way to get over a phobia is to expose yourself to it and baby steps work. Just get your bums out there and I promise once you see the improvements through speed play in your race times you’ll start loving your track time! 🙂

1) Are you at least a wee bit more convinced you could like the track? Is there a way you can go out on a limb and proclaim at least ONE way you will utilize the track more?

2) If you already do use the track, what’s your favorite workout or run on it?
Tempo runs. I’m a dork and actually looked forward to my 10 mile tempo runs on the track…no lie.

3) Are you plumb sick of me shoving track love down your throat? If so, would I make you like it more if I added in there is Track Town Pizza in Eugene, OR you should hit up…it at least has Track and Pizza together, so maybe it will work as a little subliminal message to like both as equals?? 😉

4) What’s going on for you Monday?

A Beeping Street With a Kankled Runner on it

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Cait — 9 Comments ↓

Beep. Honk. Squeal. Ya, there was a car that peeled out and the squeal sent me jumping out of my skin (mind you the car was probably about 50 meters away and nowhere coming near me! haha), but I did it. Street traffic…faced the fear for 11.14 miles.

Definitly broke the '20 min. limit' rule 🙂

If you’ve been reading along on this blog you probably realized that I do ~~most~~ all of my running on the treadmill. That was up until the last few days. After I got hit by the car it took me over a year to get over the surgeries and then actually get back to running period, and when I did I really only felt ‘safe’ on a treadmill.

I could have gone to trails I guess, but there weren’t all that many close-by and I had a treadmill in my apartment complex so I just stuck to what was easier. A few times I would ‘man-up’ and run the less than two miles outside to get to a track and finish my run around there, but I think that was about two or three times. The streets scared the bejeezus out of me.

This coming from the girl you used to consider treadmill running ‘weenie running.’ But I moved to a place where there is a great bike trail and I figured I could handle that. Bikes whizzing by me is about the fastest thing around, I can handle that.

Moving to the outdoors was refreshing (far less boring…haha) but it was a SLAP in the face too. That 1.5% treadmill grade is easier than actual outdoor running even though that’s the accepted equivalent. I did a few days of bike trail runs and today, instead, I hit the roads.

I stuck to a short loop around my house, only crossed through some stop signs and decided to just turn right at stop-lights, but I did it. Most of the streets weren’t too busy but for a few of them I passed some shopping centers and there was a good amount of traffic…haha.

It felt good. Sorry, treadmill, I love you, you honestly have been a bestie for so long and I’m sure I will return to you at times, but for the time being I have my sights set on being a ‘real’ runner again. 🙂

1) Last random thing that you saw outside that made you do a double take?

There was a man about 50, reeeeally tan, totally shaved head except for a spiked, blue mohawk that was at least 6 inches high.

2) Do you have any strange fears?

3) How is your Tuesday plugging along?

Fear Factor Recasting – Overcoming the Fears We Battle

Posted on August 11, 2011 by Cait — 2 Comments ↓

Cue Joe Rogan. So I am bringing you this post as a major alert: CHECK OUT DIS CHIC CHICKPEA…do it now!! Haha, now I usually try not to bust out the all caps in multi-word format that often because it is annoying, but Amy over there posted a poem she wrote that really is too amazing to ignore.

It’s about fear. It is ever-present but needs to be pushed out of our lives. She really puts it best, but it also got me thinking about fear and so now, as always, I can’t just shush-up and will ramble on with my two cents.

I think pushing fear from our lives in sort of like an ongoing battle, you shove one out the window and the door knocks with another. Sometimes I think it’s almost impossible to avoid opening the door, or I guess rather the door gets thrust open against your own will. So then, it’s up to you to rid yourself of the intruder.

There is also the little fear spectrum, or rather a speedometer. Worries and fears sort of blur together in my mind sometimes, and it’s a matter of placing a particular worry/fear on that odometer. Is it running at a 4 minute mile pace or is it walking at 20 min/mile pace? Sometimes it looks like a speed demon but when you stop and actually clock it, it’s going much slower than you thought. Sort of like that red sports car vs. the cops thing.

Amy’s poem also comes at really, a perfect time for me. I’ve got my own little knock-knocks on the fear door and actually, should I be completely truthful they’re already sitting in my lounge sipping coffee. I don’t like to really admit some things, I like to either be positive or make enough jokes out of it that I laugh it off, but then again I don’t like to lie or feel like I’m being a hypocrite either.

I would sort of feel like a hypocrite if I posted up this amazing poem about giving fear the finger and then not put the disclaimer that I’ve got my own fears and worries. I’m not sitting in an empty room, I’ve got Fear Nasties too. But, I also have other people in it besides fear and worry. Those people are there to help me oust Nasty Thing 1 and 2 out the window. In some cases those people are actually battling against the very same fear as you.

Our Fear Nasties Graveyard

The tough thing I’ve learned is that those ‘good’ people are sometimes hard to find, the Fear Nasties can really crowd the room and the ‘good’ folks can get buried in the back. Here are the sticky points: 1) Identifying there ARE actually other people in the room besides you and the fear dudes 2) actually believing that they are there (yes, this is another step) 3) reaching out to them and saying you need their help and 4) actually getting the fear thangs out the window.

The Fam

Getting back to the fear speedometer, if the things are more just worries, sometimes you can take a step back and realize that you’re making them ‘faster’ than they really are in your mind and if you start thinking more rationally or logical you can come up with some sort of solution. If there IS no solution than your solution is that whatever it is may be out of your control, so the best you can do is accept that it is out of your control, then distract yourself until the thing works itself out or you learn something new about the situation. Push it out of your mind as best you can.

Lots of my ‘fears’ are actually just my over-worrying. Fear in my mind is more gripping, heart-stopping, or it’s an enormous weight that is pressing down on my chest. Fear seems shorter, or like a climactic eruption. Worries to me are the slow build…I think they can lead to the gigantic fear eruption as the weight just builds to a point where it feels like it’s crushing you.

Worries are more my problem. I’ve briefly brushed on that fact that I’ve got OCD where I made fun of myself, and if I told you all of my worries I’d laugh right along with you as I said them out loud. But laughing them off inside is far harder, and it’s a matter of forcing myself to discredit these worries. Of course I’ve got actual ‘real world’ worries too, like we ALL do…and there are becoming more of those, so that adds to my lounge room of folks with Starbucks cups.

As I again catch myself in an epic ramble, I don’t want to make this too personal, my intention was to identify that this particular poem is something we should all read, digest, then read again. Because it’s a reality check: do you want to keep living with Starbucks sipping, uninvited, fear nasties with a speed rating taking up space?

I know I don’t, and I know I’ve pushed plenty out of my room before with the help of the other ‘good’ people in the room. I think the digesting part for me has also been admitting that there will always be new fear/worries or whatever knocking on the door, some of them the very same worries I already pushed out before, and I need to really listen when they start knocking. When the knocking gets louder, barricade that d*** door and if the door bursts open anyways, rally the troops, open the windows, and get to chucking!

Please, A Standing Round of Applause for Klutz of the Year

Posted on June 17, 2011 by Cait — 4 Comments ↓

Sorry for being so late to the post today! I always do my best to be a positive person but today really was a bit stinky. Started off pretty good, I’ve got another blog I’m really loving, Shut Up and Run, as if the name alone wasn’t good enough reason to pull me in right?!?!

But this morning was a really great post about doing something that scares you. As I read it, I knew there was something that I’ve been putting off, saying I’ll do it tomorrow. But tomorrow really never came. It’s getting off the d*** treadmill and running outside again. Ever since my car accident I’ve never really gotten back to the ‘old me’ in that sense.

The old me would run in gale gust winds, torrential downpours, heat, semi-trucks blazing by. I once did a track workout while they were in the middle of redoing the track. Lane one was still yet to be totally torn up so I just worked around the bulldozers. I used to think treadmills were for weenies.

Flash-forward and ALL I do are treadmill runs. Now, I no longer think running on a treadmill makes you weak or anything like that. I think treadmills certainly have their place, can be great training tools and sometimes it’s actually SMARTER to run inside than out. But not for the reason I’m running in the treadmill. Yes, a part of it is because I’m neurotic and like to know exactly how many miles I’m doing and exactly what pace. But I’m also avoiding something. I’m avoiding actually running outside. It scares me. Plain and simple.

I know that it’s in my head. I KNOW that, but still that ‘tomorrow’ where I’ll start training and running outside had yet to come. I had run like that for darn near a decade and never got hit. It was just one really bad day that changed that.

So I finally bucked up and decided to strap on my watch and head outside, I was going to do something that scared me, step outside the comfort of my cozy little treadmill bubble and TV.

Five minutes in and being the klutz that I am I trip on the side of a curb, the pavement was uneven, BAM I’m pavement roadkill again. This time though it was totally at my own hand…err, foot. Luckily I avoided a full faceplant but I did tear off a fed layers of skin from both palms and got some roadrash on my stomach and shoulder.

Well, today’s menu featured a tempo run, so I picked myself up and got on with our regularly scheduled programing. Warm-up clocked in with 3 miles to a nearby track, did my 6 mile harder effort, then wrapped with a bit over 2 miles for a cool-down. By the end I’m not going to lie I was a bloody mess. A more sane person probably would have called it a day after the skid, but sorry, five minutes does not a run make regardless!!! haha.

I had done what scared me. Ya, it ended up sort of sucking, and during my tempo blood was covering my hands and of course there happened to be some kind of kiddie camp that ventured over to the track. They all waved at me, but I was hesitant to actually wave back lest I really scare those poor 4 and 5 year olds! So a smile would have to do.

Luckily the track I was at happened to be where I used to work and I knew the people. They have a really great first aide center (in case other people get hurt, sadly my own story was one of clumsiness and not really exciting) and I had a fun 90 minute chat with Olivia as she picked gravel out of me.

Then getting home was a bit of a fiasco, I had run to the track so didn’t really have an easy way to get home. I took to walking. By this point I was wiped and things were hurting. I made it over halfway, but passing a little church I was wearing thin and a thought came to me. Maybe, just maybe someone there would take pity on an idiot runner who is a klutz. There was only one lady working and she wasn’t able to leave. Totally understandable, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bummed.

Walking away from the church there was an old man watering his lawn. He saw me and asked me what was up. Do I tell this old man that I’d just about kiss his feet for a ride a mile up the road? I caved. This was sort of hard (or embarrassing I guess) for me because I don’t like being a weenie and asking for help, I mean I can run 11 plus miles but another mile walk puts me over the edge? Man up, Cait!

But in recent years I’ve gotten better at knowing when to ask for a hand. I told this nice old man (at this point I ventured he was safe and not a Chester the Molester type..but again, in all honesty I was sort of past the whole caring thing!) and had a really nice time getting to ‘know’ Gene for that mile drive. BTW, Gene’s been awarded the #1 Grandpa plaque from his grandkids. I’m of course going to have to be partial to my own grandparents, but in my book Gene is CERTAINLY looking promising for the bronze this year. 😉

So here I am, just walked in the door. I’m tired as heck and just look oh so pretty. I took a picture but really it is just too atrocious to even post. Even I have some standards. I did however get Olivia to snap my hands on her phone and she said she’d try to send those to me. I’m a sucker for all those nice, bloody shots. If I get them I’ll post those.

Not looking forward to the sting of a shower, but ’tis okay. I still did something that scared me. I’m actually proud of that. I’m happy I did it. I don’t know if I’ll run outside or on the tread tomorrow, but as one famous therapist said, “Baby steps, baby steps.” 😉 So thank you Beth for a particularly great blog post that gave me the kick in the butt to get outside for the first time in WAY too long.

1) What’s something that you CAN do that scares you?

2) Are you willing to put it in writing that you WILL do it and tell us how it goes?

3) Did you workout today, if so, let’s hear it folks! 🙂